Looking for trouble
It is never a good idea to look around too much. It is a far better idea to just keep your head down and mind your own business. I have learned this lesson the hard way multiple times.
Once, I was taking a late night shower after a rough day. My mind was wandering, and with it, my eyes. To the top left side of the shower specifically, where I noticed a gigantic spider. Up there, just hovering above me, this massive prehistoric looking creature, probably up to no good. I sought solace in my showers. They were my one time of peace, and now this guy was here to ruin my oasis.
Another time, I accidentally went snooping at an ex-boyfriend’s place, when he was out working in the yard. (We were dating at the time, I’m not THAT much of a lunatic). The “accidental” part was because when I opened up the ol’ social media internet tab to check my messages, I thought it was my account, but turned out to be his. The “snooping” part was because when the message that immediately popped up, was one from his ex-girlfriend, I read it.
And then I found pictures that went along with that message, stashed around his room…practically in plain sight. (Don’t judge me, you would have done the same…or maybe you wouldn’t and I’m a terrible person, but whatever). The point is:
It wasn’t a good read, as you can imagine. Nothing good typically comes from ex-girlfriends. Ex-girlfriends are the species that every girl hates, but simultaneously wants to BE. My biggest predicament when I am really into a guy is: Do I want to be the love of his life, OR do I want to break up and leave him so in love with me that I ruin the following girl’s life?
Well, this girl was going to ruin my life for the next couple of months. Perhaps I wouldn’t have known that, had I frantically closed the message instantly without letting my eyes wander. But perhaps it was better that I had insight into their hidden agenda. Regardless, I was involved now. I was stuck in the middle of these two former flames, just like I was stuck in the shower with that spider.
If I hadn’t looked around, I would have never even seen that spider. But I did see it, and since I had, it was officially all I could see. I wasn’t enjoying the shower that I had looked forward to all day, anymore. Instead I was just consumed by this fear, and this obsession, that I would turn my back and this spider would come crashing down from the ceiling and hurt me.
Jealousy feels a lot like a spider in your shower.