Cyber Monday


I’m not really a shopper. I spend the majority of my money on coffee and pizza. (I work in an Italian neighborhood and I am weak). I am a girl who doesn’t own too many shoes, I’ve never woken up early for Black Friday madness and I’ll wear my clothes until my limbs quite literally bust through the seams.

In fact, I can usually talk myself out of a purchase pretty easily…unless it’s a book…or an animal.

But I may have finally met my match: Cyber Monday.

I got lulled into Cyber Monday for two reasons:
1. I didn’t have to wake up early (or camp outside a superstore like a disgusting American).
2. I didn’t have to be in any crowds or touch any other gross human bodies in a 3,000 foot line.

But I also didn’t neeeeeed anything.

Well, at least I didn’t think I needed anything until a friend of mine (who does shop too much and therefore will always dress cuter than me) posted on Facebook a list of clothing websites having huge Cyber Monday deals. I sped past most of them (because even at 50% off…I mean, I don’t have Beyonce money). But then, the cyber-clothing racks parted like the red sea and…I saw a website advertising – *cue dramatic music* – 90% OFF!!!!!?!?!??!?!!

The deals were so good that I found myself thinking, “Yeeahh, I could probably pull off lace bell-bottoms…if the weather was right” and “You know, now that I’m seeing it on here, I think I have always wanted a leather tube top.”

I scrolled through the website for a brief 3 1/2 hours before deciding on two pieces. A bulky cardigan that looks like it will make me want to drink coffee and sit outside on a porch on a brisk winter morning in the woods, like a Folgers commercial. And a vest made of faux fur…or some other interesting material, that I think I can pull off. The point is, the cardigan was originally $220, marked down to $22!!!!!! And the vest was originally $108 marked down to $11!!!!! I don’t care if I’ll be able to confidentially rock that vest or not, with those kinds of markdowns it would be stupid NOT to buy them. Right? RIGHT?!!

Before I entered my credit card number, I looked at my cart, reviewed the online photos and tried to picture myself in the cardigan…on the train, on my commute to work…instead of the perfect model body in it, throwing fall leaves over her head in a meadow.

Do I really need this cardigan and this vest that may or may not look cool on me? Can I really afford this frivolous spending? You know Christmas is coming up, THINK ABOUT THE OTHERS!!

I suffer from “buyer’s remorse”…before I even buy anything.

Eventually I threw caution to the wind, entered my shipping info and hit CONFIRM.

Then I went to work the next day and told everyone.

“How was your Thanksgiving weekend?” No one asked me.

Instead, unprompted, I volunteered this information:

“I did something a little wild, a little crazy. I kind of splurged on Cyber Monday.”

(No one cares).

“I don’t need to be spending any money, but you would not believe these discounts! It’s almost like I had to. Anyway, I spent $42 AHH! After shipping and tax. Thank goodness! But you know, I’m happy with what I got, so…”

One of my coworkers chimed in.

“I bought this hat yesterday. It was $237.”

Sometimes what you think is a big deal isn’t really that big of a deal. But it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it anyway.