I have seen a barrage of posts about Caitlyn Jenner. Most have been positive, uplifting, inspiring messages, shared by beautiful people I am lucky enough to call my friends.

Others have not been so kind.

I have seen all sorts of memes – some funny (Caitlyn with a C), and some not. I have seen people compare Bruce’s transition to military vets, disabled people, even Michael Jackson.

I’ve been noticing this trend almost any time someone is in the news for anything that could, in any way, be deemed heroic.

And questions have been stirring around in my mind, like –

WHY are we comparing anyone? This is not a struggle contest.

Can we not celebrate more than one person, or group of people, at once?

All my life, I have been under the impression that we could honor one person without taking away from someone else.

The internet is great, except it gives everyone a voice. When before, if we didn’t agree with something, we could have just quietly grumbled about it to our peers and annoyed anyone in earshot who didn’t like what we had to say. But now, anyone can say anything, within seconds of learning anything…with little to no consequence.

So, since that is the case – allow me to call “you” out.

If something good happened to your neighbor, would that negatively affect your life?

Caitlyn’s entrance into the world, in NO WAY, affects ANYONE other than family members and those who are dealing with a similar body/image issue.

Applauding the bravery of one person does not diminish any of the brave or important acts that came before them, alongside them, or will happen long after they are gone.

What kind of deep insecurity is brewing within you, that gives you satisfaction from publicly hating on someone else? It’s not funny, helpful, or decent.

You share it under the context of love and respect, but all it is, is hate.

Why do you think it is your job to “pick sides” between two issues that shouldn’t have even been connected in the first place?


What do you think you’re accomplishing with that?

“Oh thank heavens you reminded me about the military…with all this Caitlyn Jenner hubbub, I forgot all about them.”


I know many soldiers that have bravely defended our country…but they’re not fighting the same fight.

When Bruce was transitioning into Caitlyn, he didn’t face the same obstacles as a veteran or as a child growing up in an abusive home or as a person internally battling depression.

I hope I never meet anyone who has had to deal with all of the above ordeals simultaneously…but until I do, who’s to say which is the hardest?

I would hope that if I eased into my new, more comfortable skin, publicly, in front of my friends and family, that none of you would try to undermine me or make light of all the time and pain it took me to get there. I would hope that no one would put my photo next to a photo of a veteran with no legs under the heading, “You’re no hero,” because by equating our struggles, you would be disrespecting both of us.

And if you don’t think that physically changing genders is “worthy enough” to be considered a struggle, then feel lucky that you’ve never been to war with yourself, because that is its own kind of battle.

Spreading hate under the facade of “caring” doesn’t make you enlightened.

And sharing something on Facebook doesn’t make YOU a hero either.