IF I HAD TO PITCH MAD MAX:FURY ROAD, THIS IS WHAT IT WOULD SOUND LIKE

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“K so it’s gonna be post apocalyptic but we’re not gonna address why, that part’s not important. And the world is full of mutants now. And…albino people? And Tom Hardy. All of them have British accents except for one girl. Again, not important. And there’s these like, sex slaves. How did they get there? Not important. Then the main girl with one arm decides to escape with them – why? Because. And then there’s a desert chase and a bunch of fights over gasoline…even though most people in the movie are riding dirt bikes. Explosion. Explosion. Explosion. Tom Hardy. Now they have to turn around cause the place they were going doesn’t exist anymore. Explosion. Explosion. Explosion. A bunch of people die. What’s that silver stuff they’re spraying in their mouths? Not important. Why can Max hear voices? Who’s that little girl? You know what, just…don’t worry about that part. It’s not important. They kill the leader and go back to the exact place they escaped from in the first place. And then the movie ends with absolutely no character arcs – (except the bald, white dude who died for them) and answering zero questions. And Tom Hardy. Genius. People will be mad it won’t win best picture.”

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